Welcome to 487 Magnolia Drive - this home doesn't whisper, she $350,000

Lake Home For Sale

Welcome to 487 Magnolia Drive - this home doesn't whisper, she screams! Set in the artistic enclave of Pine Lake, the very entryway dares you to blink. A hall of eyes - bloodshot, bulging, unrelenting - follow your every move. They don't just watch, they leer. At the end of it all, Leatherface reigns supreme, chainsaw cocked like a half-grin, half-threat. This isn't a foyer, it's the slaughterhouse curtain call. The main level sprawls in hardwood and engineered floors, leading you into the kitchen so big, you'll need both hands to handle it. Carnival-colored cabinetry pops like sinful confetti, while the tiki mask stares with voyeuristic hunger - witness to every thrust, every slice, and every slash. Wide open like a dance floor, this isn't just a place to cook - it's where flavors get filthy and the countertops know all your secrets. Swing around to the bonus space - good as a third bedroom, office, or your private den of vices - before stumbling into the guest bath. Step inside this candy-coated den of depravity, where the only thing filthier than the decor is what's about to happen inside! The living room? A neon-lit lair of lust. Cathedral ceilings soar above hardwood floors, with walls set ablaze in searing orange and midnight blue. In the corner lurks a Pepto-pink Nosferatu, stiff and obscene, caught like a pervert mid-peep. It's an invitation to a den of electric sex - a hidden movie room straight out of a retro fever dream and with the promise for a triple feature of fun, fantasy, and just the right amount of naughty nostalgia. And then - the crown jewel, A curvaceous spiral staircase that will make you dizzy with desire.*Up you go, Tiger... upstairs is where the action really starts.* Two upstairs bedrooms are headlined by the oversized primary suite-complete with a walk-in closet, soaring angled ceilings, and skylights spilling in natural light, too pure for what really goes down here, but perfect for a lens capturing every angle. The renovated bath burns hot in tropical shades of orange, red, and blue, more beachside boudoir than suburban washroom. A bold ocean-blue double vanity, wide mirrors, a deep tub, and a shower that's so steamy, it needs a safe word. This isn't hygiene, it's foreplay. Step outside and you'll find a backyard larger than most-fully fenced for your most private indulgences, anchored by a generous deck and tiki bar that begs you to bring the after-hours party home. Even the oversized two-car garage comes with room to spare, perfect for hiding away all your dirtiest toys. Offered with the option to stay *as is* in its decadent decor, this home delivers a rare versatility & flexibility only rivaled by the legends at the Clermont. She doesn't just have a floor plan-she's got a body that NEVER quits.